Joy & Sorrow

“Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.”

Romans 12:15

If you keep up with me online, you probably saw our pregnancy announcement a few weeks ago:

On April 11th, we transferred two of the four embryos that we adopted. The procedure is called a Frozen Embryo Transfer, or FET. Those two tiny little embryos, already five days old, were transferred to my uterus and we crossed our fingers for a positive pregnancy test.

I was home on bed rest for a few days, which wasn’t bad since it gave me time to finally finish the adoption puzzle I started over a year ago.

But the waiting wasn’t fun, we were too excited to find out if the transfer had been successful. After 10 days, we went back to the doctor and they gave us the good news: I was four weeks pregnant!

We spent two weeks talking excitedly about names and wondering if both of the embryos had survived or just one. We went in for the first ultrasound at 6 weeks, excited to finally find out.

But the doctor didn’t see anything. Nothing at all. He could tell that I had been doing everything right, taking all my medications like clockwork, but there was no sign of a baby.

Maybe it was still too small. He ran some blood work to check my hormone levels. When he called back the next day, he said my levels were so low that he thought there might have been a lab error and he was having them retest the blood.

But there was no error, and shortly thereafter I miscarried.

Throughout this journey, we have been surrounded by you – friends and family who have exemplified Romans 12:15. You were eager to share the joy of our adoption and pregnancy, and now you have refused to let us weep alone. We are so grateful that the Lord has blessed our lives so much more richly than we deserve.

When we started this infertility journey, I couldn’t have imagined all that God would teach me through it, or how fully he would provide for our every need.

We don’t know why these embryos didn’t survive, but we take comfort in two important Truths:

Those embryos were human beings, created by God in his image, and deserved the chance at life. Even though it hurts to lose them, we know that it was God’s will for us to give them that chance.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28). 

As for what’s next, we still have two little embryos waiting, so please be praying for wisdom in when to schedule our second transfer.

Thank you!