I spent this past weekend in Chicago with my brother’s family. He has two little boys, ages three & one. I loved getting the chance to spend some time with them, especially since Steve & I won’t get to see them for the holidays this year.
I had a lot of fun playing with the boys, and the three-year-old is at that full-of-imagination age. He loves space & astronauts, he loves reading, he loves numbers, he loves Duplo. But most of all, he loves control. Just like any other three-year-old, he likes to be in charge. And when things don’t go his way, he gets upset. He might ask you to be in charge, to help, to share, but the minute you start doing things in any way that he hasn’t imagined, he takes over. I didn’t mind, it’s to be expected, that’s just how kids are at that age.
But it did get me thinking: Is that how I am with God?
And I think that all too often, the answer is yes.
I get exasperated trying to do things in my own strength, and I finally decide to ‘share’ with God. I say, “Ok fine God, it’s your turn. I’m tired of trying on my own, I’m done with this, do whatever you want.”
It’s not a bad thing to realize that I can’t do things alone – that without God, without Christ, I’m nothing. But the minute I give up control (though, let’s face it, God has truly been in control all along), and God does something I didn’t plan for, I take it back (but like I said, not really – just in my heart).
I frantically grab for the Duplos to undo the ‘damage’ he’s done to my perfectly planned life. And I think, “How dare He? Doesn’t he realize I have a blueprint for this? That’s not supposed to go there! Why would he do that?”
And then I realize that in my heart I’ve sought control all along, never truly at peace with his unimpeachable plan for me.
When will I ever get it into my head that His plan is better – a thousand times so – and will come to pass whether I like it or not?